You Know You're Out of College When...

1. Your salary is less than your tuition.
2. Your potted plants stay alive.
3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
5. You have to pay your own credit card bill.
6. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
7. 8:00a.m. is not early.
8. You have to file for your own taxes.
9. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. You learn that "Bachelor" is a nicer term for a jackass.
12. "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary, which is a little less than your allowance used to be.
13. "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid, and not married.
14. Your friends marry instead of hook-up, and divorce instead of break-up.
15. You start watching the weather channel.
16. Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
17. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.
18. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
19. You go to parties that the police don't raid.
20. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.
21. You refer to college students as kids.
22. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum.

jajajaja!

HELL... AS EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, during my Freshman year, that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A

By Death means Begining New Life...

It is really very sad when someone passes away even though you do not really know the person. I play Darkthrone- a browser-based MMORPG that has been around for 3 or 4 years I think. Below is a letter made by Ashley Lay- a long time DT player, before her departure from this earth.

Hi Guys! Its me Ashley! Uhmm.. this part of my will is for my
Darkthrone family and friends.

Well I suppose that when you read this guys. I should be long gone.
Sorry if I left you guys.. And I hope I dont cause to much trouble. You
all have been great to me! Ive first experienced this when I was tought
and raised by my Brujah family! Well, it's you guys that raised my
account and all. Its a pretty old account you know it got 72 thousand
turns! I remember when I Joined brujah.. I know that shadowspectre was the
one who invited me, then I immedietly joined the forums! Yeah it was
fun! I get to meet friends, like Josh perhaps. you know TMU? He's my
teacher and will always be my friend! BUSH, yeah he thought me well too, he
made me spell Brujah correctly! Lord_tade, the awesomeness of your
teachings, the one that I believe to be the most gifted teacher and
spammer!!! Keep up the good work guys! That account is your makings!

I got to say a lot of names.. Liza, the ***y girl! Hehe, yup you are
***ier than me! Ron, you just keep on rocking! Delta, I havent got your
name yet.. hmmm, and I havent seen you picture, that's bad.. Josh, my
friend, thank you for raising me. The badger, hehe poke yourself into
it! Jabba, I didn't even win a sigle avatar of yours, maybe I **** at
that! More and more, like odity the ambasador, hells_of_ashes(is that
right?), Bloodraven, yes he's the one who voted for me in my first round in
the MOM,I feel great about that! babs_the_bunny, disruptor, Dj, oh yes
and last but not the least our Leader! Nighty, well in my profile their
is still that brother in arms thingy, remember when you thought me you
said that I should put that in my profile? It's still their! And also..
Thanks for voting me Member of the month!

So maybe it will be put to good use by my Brother.. Oh yeah his name
by the way is Alfonso Lay. He's such a sweet kid! He's the one im
telling you about, he graduated this summer. So Im giving him my account!
Well, sorta coz I haven't told you guys the truth. Its his account and I
am the one that got hooked in to this game. He went bored with it so he
gave it to me.. But now I'm giving it back to him. Its his account, his
email address and his password. So make him feel just as much respect
like you did to me. Make him feel at home!

You know I just been thinking a long time ago a music that struck my
ears(and my brothers too!) you know Marilyn Manson's- This is Halloween?
That's a great song for brujah!

Maybe my body will be deported to Taiwan. I don't know, its a family
tradition. Heck just dont visit me okay? Told my bro that he musn't tell
where I was put to rest. It will just be a bother if you come and
visit! I don't want you guys to waste your time, okay?

Well I gotta go, hope you all enjoy you life! Just like I did! It ****
really that this has to happen but that's life!^^ Well,I love you guys,
Goodbye!

To my Filipino Friends! Adios amigos!(thats not even Filipino),ah
sige.. mabuhay sa Philippine United! Mabuhay sa Brujah! Sana magkita-kita
tayo sa langit o sa baba!^^ Mahal ko kayo!! Thank you...

My Thanks and love,
MVP_killaz08 AKA Ashley Lay



REST IN PEACE MVP_killaz08 AKA Ashley Lay 1986-2007